Good morning! We got some more mysterious balloon action over the weekend. In an echo of last year’s Chinese spy balloon incident, the U.S. Air Force intercepted a strange balloon flying around above Utah that officials deemed nonthreatening and “not maneuverable.” That’s probably exactly what the aliens want us to think, isn’t it?

In other news, AT&T’s official reason for last week’s outage is the "execution of an incorrect process.” Best of luck to anyone who tries that out at work today.

2024

🗳️ Haley refuses to quit as Trump rolls in South Carolina

Never let reality get in the way of a good time. Former President Donald Trump easily dispatched his former UN Ambassador, Nikki Haley, 60% to 40%. But she vowed to stay in the race, saying “I will not give up this fight…”

Why stay?: Saturday’s result was a poor showing for Haley in the state that twice elected her governor. An old political adage says "Candidates don't run out of reasons to run for president. They run out of money." And Nikki Haley’s still got plenty of campaign cash (for now). But let’s take a look at a few other reasons Haley might think she has a shot at the Republican nomination.

• Republican voters might magically get sick of Donald Trump.

• Trump could end up in prison. Except… he can run for president from prison. It’s been done before. "Don't be in prison" is not one of the Constitution's three requirements for the presidency.

• Trump could have a health scare that forces him from the race. He’s nearly 78 and, let’s be honest, isn’t exactly a health food nut.

It's morbid, but option three could play into Haley’s calculus. If Trump wins the nomination but can't accept it (for any reason), delegates to the Republican National Convention will decide the party’s nominee.

Political nightmare: Haley would stack up a few delegates in each state and walk into the convention in second place to a non-candidate Trump. That would give her some claim to the big prize.

• But most delegates would still be Trump backers. And they likely wouldn’t take kindly to a Haley nomination.

• A Trumpier candidate (like Ron DeSantis) would stand a good chance of earning enough delegate support to win the nomination over Haley.

The last time a convention vote wasn’t a forgone conclusion was in 1976. It’s super duper extremely unlikely to happen this year. But if it did? It would be a real-world combination of Survivor and Succession. Otherwise known as ratings gold for news networks.

2024

🔥 Michigan goes to the polls (sort of)

Both parties have a presidential primary in Michigan tomorrow. While neither is likely to be competitive at this point, both will be more dramatic than the state of the race might suggest.

Republicans: The Democratic-controlled Michigan government chose February 27 for its state-run presidential primaries. But that date violates national Republican Party rules — only a select few states can vote before March 1. Oops. Michigan Republicans now must also hold a party-run caucus on March 2. Awarded delegates to the national convention will be split between the two events.

• In related news, Michigan has two competing Republican Parties. Activists recently overthrew the (fundraising-challenged) chairwoman but it didn’t quite take.

• Each version of the party will hold its own caucus tomorrow. Trump and the national party both back the new, more experienced leadership.

Democrats: President Biden’s hold on the nomination is secure. But he could be embarrassed by a movement to pick “uncommitted” delegates in tomorrow’s primary. Michigan has a relatively large Muslim population. Many of them are not thrilled with Biden’s unwavering support for Israel.

• The “Listen to Michigan” campaign has made six-figure ad buys and reached out to tens of thousands of voters.

• They want Biden to back a ceasefire in Gaza. And the push may be working — he recently began mildly criticizing some of Israel’s actions.

A large enough rift in tomorrow’s results could be cause for Democratic concern. A contingent of Michigan progressives refusing to back Biden in November could throw the state to Trump — he won Michigan in 2016 by less than 11,000 votes.

TRIVIA

President Joe Biden, like many presidents before him, has two college degrees. A bachelor’s and a law degree. Name one of the two universities from which Joe Biden graduated.

WORLD

🇺🇸 United States: Laken Riley, a 22-year-old nursing student in Georgia, was murdered while out for a run last week. A Venezuelan national, Jose Ibarra, has been charged with the crime. Ibarra entered the country illegally in 2022. He was arrested in New York last year for child endangerment but was released due to lack of space. Expect this tragedy to come up in the presidential election as the migrant crisis looms large.

🇺🇦 Ukraine: Russia’s war in Ukraine entered its third year over the weekend as a delegation of U.S. Senate Democrats visited the country. Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy announced the war has killed 31,000 Ukrainian soldiers. Russia claims it’s lost only 6,000 soldiers. But U.S. estimates of Russian dead and wounded are ever-so-slightly higher at 315,000.

🇮🇱 Israel: Peace talks continued last week in Paris, brokered by representatives from Qatar, Egypt, and the United States. The White House said everyone agreed on the basics of a deal but that negotiations will continue. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu said Hamas is on “another planet” right now but is hopeful they can find agreement. The talks centered on the details of a possible hostage swap.

BRIEFS

• Tyler Perry is axing his $800 million studio expansion over concerns that AI will kill Hollywood

• Flaco, NYC’s famous zoo-escapee owl, died after flying smack into the side of a building

• HBO’s former parent company AT&T wanted “Game of Thrones” shot vertically so it would fit better on phones

• A jury found former NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre misused millions of dollars of NRA cash on his lavish lifestyle

• A magician in New Orleans says a Democratic operative paid him to create fake Biden robocalls

• As the state’s last Hooters is being torn down, West Virginians are planning a candlelight vigil in its honor

• Canada's wildfire season started early this year due to "zombie" 2023 blazes that never died

• A Houthi attack on a ship carrying 48 million pounds of fertilizer raises concerns about a possible Red Sea environmental disaster

• A House committee chair says SpaceX might be violating its federal contract by not letting U.S. soldiers near Taiwan use its internet service

• The IRS says rich people are evading $150 billion per year in federal taxes

QUOTE

SNACKS

🐊 Florida Man Games: Someone turned cutoff shorts, evading police, and chugging beer into an "athletic" competition last weekend. God bless America.

💎 Sunken treasure: Colombia's government is sending a deep-water expedition to the site of a 1708 shipwreck. The exact location is top-secret. Why? They believe it contains up to $20 billion in gold, silver, emeralds, and more.

🤖 Spying on Slack: A new corporate espionage trick just dropped. An ex-employee at tech publication Gizmodo quit his job and changed his username in Slack to “Slackbot.” He remained undetected for months.

GLOSSARY

veepstakes — noun

The dignity-free competition in which ambitious politicians nationwide slobber all over themselves complimenting their party’s presumptive presidential nominee in vain attempts to get named the VP pick.

Example: “The 2024 Republican veepstakes was in full swing last weekend at CPAC. VP wannabees, including Sen. Vance, Rep. Stefanik, and Gov. Noem, turned the Trump flattery dial up to 11 in bids to become Donald Trump’s vice presidential pick.”

ANSWER

Biden, like many presidents, wasn’t a great student. But he was good enough to get a bachelor’s at his home state University of Delaware in 1965. He then earned a law degree from the Syracuse University College of Law in 1968 before being admitted to the Delaware Bar.