Good morning! It’s been a wild week in politics. Everyone keeps going nuts (in either direction) over something the new administration is doing only for Trump to throw out a “Hold my beer!” and give ‘em all whiplash with something new. And VP Vance says this is “not just a first two weeks thing,” either. They plan to maintain this breakneck speed for the next four years. Let’s just hope we don’t have to also deal with a Supreme Court vacancy anytime soon lest Washington, D.C. spontaneously combust into a combo nacho rage-joy fireball.

Anyway, as we all wait for the next Lively/Baldoni shoe to drop, let’s dive into the news…

DOGE

✂️ USAID gets the axe as Trump eyes Dept. of Education

Fresh off of designing AI programs to read 2,000-year-old, turd-esque scrolls burnt to a crisp in Pompeii, Elon Musk’s cracked squad of genius zoomers have set their sights on remaking American government. The Department of Government Efficiency is charging full steam ahead.

• Some of these guys appear to be on staff at the Office of Personnel Management. But their actual employment status isn’t always clear (much like their security clearance).

• Musk himself is listed as a special government employee, allowing him access without the encumbrance of official full-time status (though he is still subject to conflict-of-interest laws).

DOGE access to the Treasury's payments system, which was reportedly being used for audits, has been cut off for now. A lawsuit aims to keep ‘em out of the Labor Department, too. But DOGE reps are digging through all $1.5 trillion in Medicare and Medicaid payments this week. And more than 40,000 federal employees have accepted the Trump administration's buyout offer for eight months of severance.

• As you might expect, not everyone is thrilled with this situation. The 50501 protest movement went national yesterday.

USAID: The U.S. Agency for International Development’s website has been yanked offline, its office closed, and thousands of its global staffers recalled. USAID is supposed to be the government’s method of doling out charitable foreign aid such as the life-saving PEPFAR program. But its opponents claim the agency wastes much of its $50 billion budget and stonewalls any attempt to audit it. They point to millions spent on things like Serbian DEI programs and transgender operas in Colombia.

• Many Republicans believe USAID acted like a slush fund for left-wing organizations that turn around and fund Democrat-aligned activism.

• The agency still exists. But Democrats call the radical changes “illegal” and the takeover a “coup” of congressionally mandated spending.

GSA: Over at the General Services Administration — the agency managing government office space — managers have been told to terminate leases on thousands of buildings and cut their square footage by up to 50%.

Education: Long the target of Republicans who think its spending should be handled by states, Trump is working on a plan to slim up the Department of Education as much as possible. But dumping it entirely will take an act of Congress.

Elsewhere: Cuts aside, the rest of the new government is also on the move. The two-day trade war that ended three days ago is now ancient history and Denmark is ready for a boosted U.S. military presence in Greenland.

• Airspace: Transportation Sec. Sean Duffy vowed to "remake" the FAA's airspace usage rules after last week's tragic airliner-helicopter collision in D.C.

• Drilling: Interior Sec. Doug Burgum lifted a late-stage Biden ban on oil drilling across 625 million acres of federal waters and 42 million acres of land in Alaska.

• Immigration: Deportation flights to India are rolling while others have begun landing at Guantanamo Bay. El Salvador agreed to take deportees of any nationality. And Texas will begin making immigration arrests statewide.

• Recruiting: Defense Sec. Pete Hegseth said the Army had its best recruiting number in 15 years last month. As the longtime slump lifts, the Army will open 10 new basic training centers by April.

GOVERNMENT

💰 President Trump re-upped a 2024 campaign idea this week and signed an executive order to create a government-run sovereign wealth fund. Treasury Sec. Scott Bessent said they plan to have it up and running “within the next 12 months.” Details on funding sources or uses aren’t yet clear (aside from buying TikTok?). But funds like this are most often financed with revenue from natural resource extraction (read: oil money) and run by countries dependent on those resources. That way they have a full piggy bank to fall back on when the well eventually runs dry. Norway’s is the largest at about $1.7 trillion.

🏀 Surrounded by dozens of young female athletes, President Trump signed an executive order on Wednesday called "Keeping Men Out of Women's Sports." The order reverses the Biden-era view of sex discrimination and bans schools that receive federal funds from letting students who identify as transgender compete in girls' sports. At the college level, the NCAA said its board is reviewing the order and will take steps necessary to "align NCAA policy" with it.

📉 Fears of a government shutdown are growing in Washington. Thanks to the short-term budget passed in December, the federal government is currently set to run out of money in 36 days. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), the Senate’s budget chair, says his committee is working on a plan this week. But that won't mean much if the House — and its razor-thin Republican majority — can't agree on how to proceed.

WORLD

🏗️ Israeli PM comes to town, Trump suggests U.S. take Gaza

The year is 2029. Brooklyn’s gentrification shock troops have abandoned their posts in converted elevator shafts and moved into old munitions depots in Rafah. The golf course in Khan Yunis is the current big-ticket boys' trip destination. That’s right. America owns the Gaza Strip.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu this week became the first foreign leader to visit President Trump at the White House during his still-fresh second term. The visit focused on the next phase of Israel’s ongoing ceasefire with Hamas in Gaza. But it’s never quite that simple.

Trump proposed a U.S. takeover of the war-torn Gaza Strip, saying it'll be "world-class" and "wonderful for the people." He suggested Gaza's 1.8 million Palestinian residents scoot on out of there so we can turn the place into “the Riviera of the Middle East.”

• The plan was light on details. But he said he sees the U.S. with a “long-term ownership position" and wouldn’t rule out the use of military force.

This is a prime strip of land fronting the Eastern Mediterranean. But much of the 141-square-mile Gaza Strip has been blown to smithereens by Israel’s military since the war began in late 2023. And surrounding countries — namely Egypt and Jordan — have repeatedly rejected suggestions that they absorb Gaza’s population.

• Netanyahu praised Trump for "thinking outside the box with fresh ideas." But the U.N., all Democrats, many Republicans, and most of the Middle East dismissed the plan as outrageous and illegal.

• This land has been fought over for thousands of years and is currently jammed with 50 million tons of rubble. Then there’s the lil issue of its residents hating the idea.

The White House stressed that Trump hadn't committed to "boots on the ground" and partially walked back his idea that Palestinians relocate. Meanwhile, Secretary of State Marco Rubio said Trump’s plan was a "very generous" reconstruction offer to “Make Gaza Beautiful Again.”

Is this going anywhere? Who knows. Trump often uses wild negotiating tactics before backing off. But he had a similarly grand plan last time around.

TRIVIA

As we’re all well aware by now, President Trump keeps saying Canada should join the United States as our 51st state. Whether he’s trolling or serious isn’t quite clear yet. But his idea involves our neighbor to the north joining the party as one big, gigantic, humongous, maple-drinking, hockey-loving state. RIP, 10 separate Canadian provinces. If Canada became a state, where would it rank on a list of states by GDP per capita?

Hint: This is the size of Canada’s economy divided by its population. The top-ranked U.S. state, New York, is at $117,332.

POLITICS

🗯️ Senate Republicans push Trump picks through Democratic opposition

Senate Democrats are in the middle of a 30-hour marathon of (surely riveting) speeches denouncing Trump's pick to lead the Cabinet-level Office of Management and Budget (OMB). Russ Vought led the agency during Trump's first term. Democrats can't stand him, however, as he was one of the architects of the Heritage Foundation's much-maligned Project 2025 policy blueprint.

• But if you don’t have the numbers, you don’t have the numbers. Vought is likely to be confirmed in a party-line vote this afternoon.

Elsewhere in the Cabinet, moderate Republican Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME) will support ex-Rep. Tulsi Gabbard as director of national intelligence, likely ensuring Gabbard’s confirmation.

• VA: Ex-Rep. Doug Collins took office as secretary of Veterans Affairs on Tuesday.

• DOJ: Ex-Florida AG Pam Bondi took charge of the Justice Department as U.S. attorney general on Tuesday.

• HUD: Ex-Trump 1.0 aide (and NFL player) Scott Turner was sworn in as secretary of Housing and Urban Development on Wednesday.

The 2026 elections are just around the corner. Sure, 2024 just ended. But in the permanent campaign, the running never stops. Over in Kansas, former Kansas City Royals general manager Dayton Moore (R) is considering a bid for governor. Bringing home a World Series win sure doesn’t hurt his case.

• Former Biden-era Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg (D) might run for U.S. Senate in Michigan. The artist formerly known as Mayor Pete is from deep-red Indiana but recently made the move to his husband’s purple home state of Michigan.

• Democrats are trying to recruit popular ex-Gov. Roy Cooper (D) to run for Senate in North Carolina against two-term Sen. Thom Tillis (R). In a year without many good targets, Cooper is the Dems’ dream candidate.

• Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY), who led Senate Republicans until last month and currently chairs the Senate Rules Committee, is using a “precautionary" wheelchair after falling down the stairs on Wednesday. McConnell, 82, is up for reelection next year but hasn’t said whether he plans to run again.

BRIEFS

● Rep. Al Green (D-TX) (no, not him) filed articles of impeachment against President Trump for “dastardly deeds proposed and dastardly deeds done.“ Proposing flashy but hopeless bills is a tried-and-true “Look at me!” tactic of congressmen everywhere.

● Former President Joe Biden kicked off what is certain to be a long and successful post-presidential career this week. Biden signed with the same Los Angeles-based talent agency, CCA, that repped him from 2017 to 2020.

● Presidential daughter-in-law Lara Trump, fresh off her 10-month stint as co-chair of the Republican National Committee, will host a weekly show on Fox News. "My View with Lara Trump" will air on Saturdays in the primo 9 p.m. time slot.

● Australia and India joined a growing list of countries restricting the use of the Chinese AI app DeepSeek on government devices. They say the tech poses an "unacceptable risk" of sending sensitive data back to the Chinese government.

QUOTE

ANSWER

According to the International Monetary Fund (IMF), the economic output of each Canadian in 2024 was $53,830. That’s enough to rank it, uh, well… 50th. It was a tight race, though! As always, thank God for Mississippi. The Magnolia State brings up the rear in 51st place with $53,061.

For the record, the IMF puts the overall U.S. number at $89,680.