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☀️ Scratch-and-sniff stamps
Fake eyelashes, American mercenaries, and laser weapons
Good morning! In an as-of-yet unanswered display of postal superiority, the French Post Office released a scratch-and-sniff stamp celebrating — and smelling like — the baguette. Your move, USPS.
WORLD LEADERS
🇮🇷 Iran’s president (probably) died in a helicopter crash
After a meeting with neighboring Azerbaijan’s government, President Ebrahim Raisi’s helicopter disappeared yesterday in a mountainous area in northwestern Iran. Iranian state-run media won called it a “hard landing.” Turns out, that was something of an understatement.
Dense fog and extreme cold made search and rescue difficult.
Turkey and Russia assisted in recovery efforts.
The Iranian Red Crescent (the Islamic Red Cross) also offered support.
Authorities claimed to have made radio contact with the chopper after it crashed, which led to reports that the accident was not severe.
Around midnight Eastern (~7 a.m. in Iran), they found the helicopter. “No survivors” were recovered but no official news of Raisi’s death was announced last night.
The helicopter was likely 50+ years old, which would've made spare parts difficult to come by.
Sureme Leader (yes, real title) Ali Khamenei asked Iranians to pray for the health of everyone on board. As his fancy title might suggest, Khamenei is Iran’s ultimate authority.
He took over after the death of The Ayatollah back in 1989.
That guy overthrew the Iranian monarchy in 1979 and founded the government we all know and love today: the Islamic Republic of Iran.
Iran’s ousted monarchy now lives in the United States. Noor Pahlavi, second in line to the throne, is active on Insta.
Future: Should Raisi not survive, Vice President Mohammad Mokhber will assume power temporarily. A new presidential election will then be held within 50 days.
Raisi’s death would also change Iranian political dynamics. He’s one of two men viewed as a future replacement for Khamenei as supreme leader. The other? Khamenei’s son.
PS: To complete the cast of this real-world Star Wars fanfic (alongside The Supreme Leader and The Ayatollah), we’ll point out that Raisi’s nickname is The Butcher of Tehran. And the core of Iran’s military? The Revolutionary Guard.
Elsewhere, over in the U.S. government:
⚠️ The State Department issued a worldwide travel warning urging Americans to exercise caution when traveling due to potential "terrorist attacks, demonstrations," or violence against U.S. citizens, particularly "LGBTQI+ persons.”
👨🚀 NASA appointed its first-ever chief AI officer to help the space agency "remain at the forefront" of AI advancement.
🔫 The U.S. Army officially began using laser weapons overseas to take down enemy drones.
POLITICS
⚪ Trump and Biden agreed on two (audience-free) debates. Biden says that’s enough. But Trump wants two more, one of which would be jointly hosted by NBC and Telemundo. Trump tied that debate to his push for Hispanic votes.
The campaigns disagree on who should host the VP debate. The Biden/Harris camp accepted an invitation to one hosted by CBS while the Trump camp agreed to one hosted by Fox News.
The co-chair of the nonprofit Commission on Presidential Debates says the CPD isn’t quite dead yet despite no longer having a debate on the calendar.
🔵 Joe Biden gave the commencement address at Morehouse College, an HBCU (Historically black college or university) in Atlanta.
In his speech, he remarked that he has “no doubt” that Vice President Kamala Harris “will be president one day.”
🔴 Donald Trump was out of court Friday to attend his son Barron’s high school graduation in Florida.
No surprise here. Trump received the National Rifle Association’s endorsement. He spoke on Saturday to thousands of activists at the NRA’s annual meeting in Texas.
Happy 80th birthday to former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani. His gift? An indictment from the State of Arizona for his role in allegedly trying to overturn the state’s 2020 election results.
⚪ A well-designed campaign logo can increase a candidate's favorability "by up to 5%." An ugly logo has the opposite effect.
🔴 Reps. Rich McCormick (R-GA) and Beth Van Duyne (R-TX) are dating. The announcement came shortly after McCormick filed for divorce from his wife. Should this relationship go the distance, they wouldn’t be the first married couple to represent two different states in Congress.
⚪ Polling indicates Michigan's Senate race is a tossup. Likely Democratic nominee Rep. Elissa Slotkin leads likely Republican nominee former Rep. Mike Rogers 40% to 37%. Republicans haven’t won a Senate race in Michigan since 1994.
⚪ Maryland’s U.S. Senate race is also competitive, with former Gov. Larry Hogan leading polls by an average of 6.5%. He hopes to become the first Republican to win a Senate race in Maryland since 1980. Part of his strategy to overcome his state’s Democratic lean? Running as a firmly "pro-choice" candidate.
⚪ Arizona's Senate race is not so competitive. According to a new poll, Democratic nominee Rep. Ruben Gallego holds a massive lead — 49% to 36% — over likely Republican nominee Kari Lake. The same poll found Trump winning the state by 5%.
TRIVIA
Italy and Portugal are tied in a weird record that nobody wants: They have the oldest populations in the European Union. What percentage of Italians (and Portuguese) are 65 years old or older?
WORLD
🇨🇩 Democratic Republic of the Congo: An attempt by Congolese and foreign mercenaries to overthrow the government failed yesterday. Authorities claim three American citizens took part in the failed coup. The U.S. ambassador said any Americans involved would be held accountable.
🇮🇱 Israel: Infighting is infecting Israel's wartime unity government. Benny Gantz, a moderate, threatened to pull his party's support from Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu unless he lays out a firm strategy for the war (and post-war) in Gaza by June 8.
🇹🇼 Taiwan: Not every country is blessed with a legislature as mature and distinguished as the United States. Taiwanese legislators threw down over the weekend in an all-out brawl on the floor. The country's new president, Lai Ching-te, was inaugurated this morning.
BRIEFS
The illegal Canadian immigrant who attacked then-Speaker Nancy Pelosi's husband Pau with a hammer will spend 30 years in prison
Slovakian Prime Minister Robert Fico remains in serious condition after an assassination attempt but has a "positive prognosis"
Due to national and international maritime law, the crew of the Dali cargo ship is still stuck on board nearly two months after the wreck
Apple is working on a new "significantly thinner" iPhone, presumably alongside a less soul-crushing ad campaign
More than a year after Elon Musk changed its name, Twitter URLs finally redirect to X.com
Autoworkers at a Mercedes plant in Alabama voted against unionizing in a blow to the UAW’s (United Auto Workers) expansion plans
QUOTE
In the past, I've described the U.S. House as The Jerry Springer Show. Today, I'm apologizing to The Jerry Springer Show.
SNACKS
⛳ Golf: Californian Xander Schauffele won the PGA Championship yesterday. And Louisville prosecutors might be dropping charges against golfer Scottie Scheffler after police arrested him for the now-famous incident that damaged Detective Gillis' pants, valued at $80, beyond repair.
🏇 Horses: Seize the Grey won the Preakness Stakes on Saturday in the second event of horseracing's Triple Crown. The Preakness is the Natty Lite to the Kentucky Derby’s champagne. Exhibit A? The legendary Toilet Run.
🏃♀️ Running: A British man set a record of 3 hours, 43 minutes in the insane Great Wall Marathon. Runners traverse 5,164 (steep) steps as they make their way across the Great Wall of China for the full 26.2 miles.
ANSWER
If you’re Italian or Portuguese there’s a 24% chance you’re at least 65. And the situation isn’t getting better. By 2050, a full one-third of Italians are projected to be 65 and up.