Good morning! TikTok plans to shut down on Sunday if the Supreme Court upholds the federal ban-or-sell law, sending users fleeing to Chinese app RedNote in anticipation. One problem? Because the app isn’t aimed at Americans, it’s default language is Mandarin. DuoLingo is reporting a 216% boost in users trying to learn Chinese. Meanwhile, the Chinese government miiiight be changing its tune on allowing a sale to avoid that fate.

PRESIDENCY

👋 Biden exits stage left, bids American people farewell

Well. That’ll just about do it for the presidency of Joe Biden. He’ll take off for a farm upstate beach in Delaware just four days from now, handing the reins over to the man he beat four years ago. Flaming out after a bad (bad) debate performance probably isn’t how he imagined his 54-year political career would end, but you can’t win ‘em all. To paraphrase Biden’s old boss: at least he got to be president.

• On that note, First Lady Jill Biden said ex-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi killed "50 years" of friendship by pushing Joe out of the race last summer.

President Biden bid farewell to the American people last night in a speech broadcast live from the Oval Office. The 17-minute address hit the usual goodbye notes. He complimented Vice President Harris, thanked pretty much everyone, and emphasized that serving as commander-in-chief “has been the highest honor” of his life.

• He defended his record, noting that “…it will take time to feel the full impact of all we’ve done together. But the seeds are planted, and they’ll grow, and they’ll bloom for decades to come.”

• He issued a warning about billionaires. “Today, an oligarchy is taking shape in America of extreme wealth, power and influence that literally threatens our entire democracy, our basic rights and freedoms and a fair shot for everyone to get ahead.”

• He laid out one final policy wish list, including getting “dark money” out of politics and passing Constitutional amendments to give the Supreme Court term limits and “make clear that no president… is immune from crimes” committed while in office.

Biden — and his team of speechwriters — played the hits, too. He dropped a few references to his upbringing and a story about the Statue of Liberty before closing on a high note. The president thanked “you, the American people” and reminded us that “the strength of our institutions and the character of our people matter and must endure.”

What’s next? Delaware and Pennsylvania are already fighting for the right to host Biden’s presidential library. Planning, fundraising, and building the thing takes years, so he’ll have his hands full with that for a while. Other perks of the ex-presidents club include a $250,000 annual pension, Secret Service protection for life, and — this one’s big — free postage.

GOVERNMENT

🩸 The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) dropped the ban hammer on red dye No. 3. As part of its dual food-drug safety mission, the FDA both approves new meds and regulates most of the food we eat. It banned red 3 in cosmetics and many drugs way back in 1990 for causing cancer in lab rats, though a link to cancer in humans is less concrete. Food companies will have until early 2027 to reformulate their products, potentially by switching to... red dye No. 40. Maybe this is the final push you need to stop eating “candy” corn.

⚓️ President Biden announced this week that the U.S. Navy will name two ships after Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush. Part of the Navy's new Ford class of aircraft carriers, they'll be the world's largest warships. With their onboard nuclear reactors, these bad boys can sail for a cool 30 years without refueling. The new ships will be numbers five and six of an expected 10 in their class and should enter service in 10-15 years.

🇨🇺 The still-working Biden administration this week announced that it's removing Cuba from the State Department's list of state sponsors of terrorism. Just three countries remain on the naughty list: Iran, North Korea, and Syria. The move should boost the Cuban economy by easing some U.S. sanctions on doing business there. The incoming Trump administration, however, is likely to reverse this decision as soon as possible.

POLITICS

🏛️ Senate holds Cabinet hearings as Trump transition nears its close

The Senate began holding hearings this week for President-elect Trump’s Cabinet nominees, ensuring some important posts can be filled immediately after his inauguration on Monday. Senators take this responsibility seriously, solemnly questioning each nominee to ensure… just kidding.

Broadly speaking, Republicans fawned over them while Democrats excoriated them for existing. After all, Senate confirmation hearings are a great opportunity for the overgrown theater kids of Congress to strut their stuff.

• After a rough post-election start, Trump's Cabinet picks — once viewed as bizarre outsiders — are on track for confirmation by the Senate.

Secretary of Defense pick Pete Hegseth took heat from Democrats for his problematic personal life. He admitted to having once been a "serial cheater" but said was a changed man through Christ. On women in combat, Hegseth walked a tightrope. He pulled back from his previous opposition, saying only that he wants to ensure fitness standards aren't lowered for women.

• One Democratic senator said Hegseth lacks the character for the job and called his potential confirmation "an insult to the men and women" of the military.

• But Republican Sen. Joni Ernst, once seen as a swing vote on Hegseth, announced that she will vote for his him, all but ensuring he gets confirmed.

Secretary of State nominee Sen. Marco Rubio sailed through his hearing, with many Democrats on the panel complimenting his "kindness" and describing him as "well qualified.” Rubio came down hard on China, saying the Chinese Communist Party has "lied, cheated, hacked, and stolen" its way to global power.

Others: Incoming CIA chief John Ratcliffe promised he’d put politics aside when leading America's primo spy agency. Attorney general hopeful Pam Bondi asserted her belief in "one tier of justice for all" and vowed to fix the poorly run Bureau of Prisons.

TRIVIA

Joe Biden has spent the past four years as the single most powerful person on the planet. He’s commanded the U.S. military, run the $6 trillion federal budget, and overseen the world’s largest economy. He’s graced our TVs screens, filled our social feeds, and fueled our holiday arguments with Aunt Brenda. We’re all pretty familiar with the guy by now. Or are we? Today’s question: What is Joe Biden’s full name?

Hint: His middle initial is “R.”

BRIEFS

● The war between Israel and Hamas in Gaza could soon come to a close. The two have agreed to a ceasefire deal that will pause the fighting and see the release of 33 hostages who were taken from Israel during Hamas's October 7, 2023 attack.

● Sweden has begun construction on an underground facility to securely store spent nuclear waste… for 100,000 years. The byproduct of nuclear power plants, spent fuel rods remain dangerously radioactive for a looong time.

● The Department of Justice won the legal battle to release special counsel (prosecutor) Jack Smith's report on his investigation into Donald Trump. The 130-page document lays out the case against the incoming president for his behavior after the 2020 election.

● The Los Angeles wildfires could cause up to $275 billion in damages, boosted by healthcare costs and high property values. While the feds are helping with immediate response costs, insurance companies will be on the hook for the bulk of the recovery.

● The U.S. Department of Transportation is taking a hard line against airlines. The agency sued Southwest Airlines over chronically delayed flights this week and slapped fines on JetBlue and Frontier for similar issues.

● The financial regulators at the SEC sued Elon Musk. They claim he broke the law in 2022 by being too slow to disclose his original purchase of a 5% stake in Twitter. Meanwhile, a SpaceX rocket carrying two separate, uncrewed missions to the moon launched yesterday.

QUOTE

ANSWER

If you guessed that the “R.” stood for “Robert,” you would be super wrong (solid guess, though). The outgoing president’s full name is a little weirder: Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr. The strange “miniature version of Batman’s sidekick” middle name is apparently his grandmother’s maiden name. It was probably less than ideal on the playground. But hey, anything beats Gamaliel. For future reference, the next guy’s full name is a little more straightforward: Donald John Trump.