Good morning! Happy 87th birthday to Norway’s King Harald V. Because Europe, he’s the second cousin (once removed) of the U.K.’s King Charles III. And because royal, he’s married to his first cousin.

North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un took a liking to the armored limo used by Russian President Vladimir Putin. So Putin gifted him one. Seems like a nice guy.

SUPREME COURT

⚖️ The House’s intramural lawsuit

Supreme Court decisions are often big news (duh). But, often just as newsworthy are the cases they refuse to accept. To recap that freshman government class we all skipped, four of the nine justices must vote to accept a case for the high court to hear it. This week, the court rejected a case from three members of the House of Representatives. A lower federal court had previously also refused to touch it.

The case: The three representatives here were not big fans of the House's pandemic-era mask mandate. In 2021, they refused to don their masks.

So the House, led by then-Speaker Nancy Pelosi, began docking their pay. The first offense was a $500 fine. Later offenses cost them $2,500 a pop. One racked up a whopping $100,000+ in fines (they make $174,000 per year, for the record).

Their argument: They claim the fines were unconstitutional per the 27th Amendment. That's the newest amendment, passed in 1992. It was meant to be part of the Bill of Rights in 1789 but didn't quite make the cut. Everyone forgot about it until (literally) a teenager dug it out of a history book. Yadda yadda yadda, it's in the Constitution now. Here's what it says:

• "No law, varying the compensation for the services of the Senators and Representatives, shall take effect, until an election of Representatives shall have intervened."

In English, please: If Congress changes its own pay, the change doesn't take effect til after the next elections (which happen every two years).

Rejected: What's extra awkward about this is that these three are Republicans. The original defendant was Nancy Pelosi (D). She's no longer speaker. So the new defendant is Speaker Mike Johnson, a Republican.

The court declined to hear the case. The justices said government officials cannot, constitutionally, be sued for actions they took as part of their duties. Which means the court wasn't able to look at the merits of this argument.

CRIME

🇭🇹 Haiti’s true crime tragedy

This story is wild. And tragic. In July 2021, Haitian President Jovenel Moïse was assassinated in his home while he slept. Most of the guards who were supposed to protect him that night mysteriously didn’t show up for work.

Since then, the government has almost totally collapsed. Violent gangs now control much of the country. And Haiti has zero, yes zero, democratically elected officials remaining. Multiple legislative elections have been canceled but terms in office ran out anyway. And the acting president is widely seen as illegitimate.

Now, over 50 people have been charged in the assassination plot. One of them is the president’s widow, Martine Moïse. She claims she’s innocent and hid under the bed during the attack. But investigators say the bed was too low to the ground to hide under. A host of others were charged as well, including:

• the former prime minister

• the former chief of the Haitian National Police (who’s now a diplomat)

• 49 other people, including multiple former Haitian senators

Martine Moïse and the former PM were charged with complicity and criminal association, while the former police chief is the one accused of the murder itself. Eleven of the conspirators have been extradited to the United States. They face federal charges for hatching the plot in Florida.

Defenders of Moïse and the others claim this is a political plot against them. They also point out she was severely injured in the attack and her memory of the night is likely marred by trauma.

POLITICS

🔴 We showed you a poll on Monday that had Rep. Colin Allred (D) tied with Texas Sen. Ted Cruz (R) in one of the year’s marquee Senate races. Now a new poll has Cruz winning by 14%. University of Texas researchers found the Republican leading 46% to 32%. This is a great example of why it’s a good idea to never get too excited (or bummed) about any single poll.

🔵 Wisconsin Gov. Tony Evers (D) signed a bill that redrew the state’s legislative district maps. Control of the state legislature is now up for grabs after 14 years of solid Republican rule. The state's newly Democratic-leaning supreme court demanded the change. They said the old districts were designed to unfairly favor Republicans. But Republicans say the state’s political geography naturally favors them. Democratic voters are piled into two cities, while Republicans are more evenly spread across the state.

🔴 After a few awkward social media goofs (like tweeting “12 fellas down. 1 to go.” with zero context), Nikki Haley gave a speech yesterday in which she said, “I refuse to quit.” Haley is under pressure from the Trump campaign to drop out after losing the first three primary states. But she says voters deserve a choice and noted that Trump will be tied up in court for months, unable to campaign.

TRIVIA

In honor of George Washington’s birthday — which is actually tomorrow, despite his holiday being on Monday — here’s a question about his presidency. In which years did George Washington serve as president?

Hint: We’re looking for the late 1700s here.

WORLD

🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Wikileaks founder Julian Assange spent seven years hiding in Ecuador's London embassy. He's spent the last five in a British prison. Now his lawyers are fighting in the U.K.’s High Court to prevent his extradition to the United States. The U.S. is charging him with espionage for helping to steal — and later publishing — classified military documents.

🇪🇺 European Union: European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen wants a second five-year term. To get one, she'll need to be reelected by the European Parliament (which is elected by European voters). Von der Leyen is the head of the EU's executive branch. But she shares power with the President of the European Council in a not-at-all simple system.

🇷🇺 Russia: Last August, a Russian military pilot named Maxim Kuzminov flew his helicopter over the border and defected to Ukraine. Russian intelligence later said the guy wouldn't live long. Turns out they weren't kidding. According to Ukrainian officials, his car was torched and he was shot dead in Spain last week.

BRIEFS

• Capital One plans to buy Discover for $35 billion to form a new credit card behemoth, but the deal will face scrutiny from regulators

• Home security camera company Wyze accidentally showed thousands of customers videos of other people’s homes (again)

• Walmart will buy American TV maker Vizio for $2.3 billion to give its ad network more reach via annoying ads on your smart TV

• Hungary’s ruling party says a vote to finally allow Sweden to join NATO could come as early as Monday

• A Colorado man tragically died after being bitten by his (illegal) venomous pet Gila monster

• Australia will boost its navy to its largest size since WW2 to counter China’s growing regional influence

• The Eiffel Tower closed yesterday after the hundreds of workers who bring it to life went on strike

• Scientists are pretty sure zombie deer disease cannot be transmitted to humans

QUOTE

SNACKS

🍿 Movies: Director Sam Mendes (the “1917,” “Skyfall” and “Spectre” guy) is making a separate, theatrically-released, interconnected, authorized biopic on each of the four Beatles. That’s going to be… a lot of movie.

⚾ Sports: Former Kansas City Royals pitcher Kelvin Herrera won a tight race to become mayor of his hometown, Tenares, in the Dominican Republic.

🤑 Lottery: A guy in Washington, D.C. is suing the lottery because they said he didn’t win and we’re 100% with him on this. He bought a ticket. And the Powerball site said he won. But the Office of Lottery and Gaming claimed the site was being tested and that his winning digits were fake test numbers. He’s suing them for $340 million plus interest.

ANSWER

Washington served as the nation’s first president from April 30, 1789, to March 4, 1797.

Until the 1940s, presidents started their terms on March 4 (it’s January 20 now). But George here, being #1 and all, got started a little later. So his presidency was 57 days shorter than two full terms.

He also served his entire presidency in New York and Philadelphia. Washington, D.C. didn’t become the capital til 1800.