Good morning! President Biden met with Irish Taoiseach Leo Varadkar at the White House yesterday (taoiseach is Irish for “leader”). Ireland’s prime ministers have for decades spent St. Patrick’s Day in Washington, D.C. to foster their nation’s relationship with the U.S.

CRIME

🐏 Godzilla vs. King Kong vs. some sheep in Montana

Who doesn’t love a good illegally bred gigantic hybrid sheep? The federal government, as it turns out. The party poopers at the Department of Justice (DOJ) hit Arthur Schubarth with two felony wildlife crimes for this scheme.

Schubert, aged 80, runs an "alternative livestock" ranch in Montana. He pleaded guilty to the charges and faces a max of five years in prison and a huge fine.

• He imported “parts of” Marco Polo argali sheep from Kyrgyzstan.

• He created loads of cloned embryos and implanted them in sheep on his ranch.

• He got one new super-sized male out of the deal and sold that hoss’s genetic material to hunting ranches in Texas.

• The bigger sheep born from this would command bigger prices from hunters. These bad boys weigh over 300 pounds.

Why’s this illegal? This guy broke laws every step of the way. Per the DOJ's Environment and Natural Resources Division, "This was an audacious scheme to create massive hybrid sheep species to be sold and hunted as trophies."

This particular species of sheep is protected by international law. That law is a treaty called the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora. Nearly every country in the world signed it.

• Schubart lied about importing them and then forged veterinary certificates.

• He also violated the U.S. Endangered Species Act and the Lacey Act, which bans selling animals that were illegally imported. So they got him for selling these things, too.

But why is it illegal? Messing around with exotic animals is dangerous. Importing non-native animal tissue could bring in disease, too. That's a big biosecurity risk. It's also harmful to the endangered animal's native population.

While it's not immediately a problem for American wildlife, it could become one in the future. Once mixed-breed animals are running around out there, there's no real way to keep their genetics contained. Wild animals aren't exactly prudes.

Schubart's plea deal forces him to keep the clones contained. The U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service might also neuter them.

POLITICS

🔴 Ooph. Former Vice President Mike Pence will not support Donald Trump's presidential bid this year. Pence said he's proud of his accomplishments with Trump from 2017 to 2021, but after the 2020 election, his old boss put himself above the Constitution. Don’t get too excited, Democrats. Pence said he would “never" vote for Joe Biden. "I'm a Republican.”

🔵 President Joe Biden’s reelection campaign raked in $53 million last month alone. That brings his total cash on hand to $155 million. This funding success lies in stark opposition to Donald Trump, who is spending tens of millions on legal fees.

🔴 At an Ohio rally, former President Donald Trump said he would protect Social Security more than President Biden. He also claimed a Biden reelection would mean a “bloodbath” for the country and the auto industry (big in Ohio) in particular.

⚪ Despite rumors that his vice presidential pick would be NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers, independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. is poised to go with Nicole Shanahan instead. She’s a rich California attorney and investor who was once married to Google co-founder Sergey Brin. The official announcement is scheduled for March 26.

TRIVIA

Only one U.S. president served his full term and left office with both of his parents still living. Which president?

Hint: JFK tragically did not serve out his full term.

WORLD

🇷🇺 Russia: President Vladimir Putin won reelection yesterday in a squeaker with an estimated 87% of the vote. This seals his control over Russia until 2030. He faced no credible challengers, as standing up to his rule tends to be a fatal mistake. Putin is the longest-serving Russian ruler since Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin. He's been the man in charge since 1999.

🇺🇸 United States: SpaceX has a $1.8 billion contract with the National Reconnaissance Office (NRO) for the “Starshield” program that will allegedly deploy hundreds of new spy satellites. The NRO is an intelligence agency run by the Department of Defense.

🇺🇸 United States: The U.S. and Israel are in the middle of a diplomatic spat. This began when Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu should be replaced. Israel's ambassador to the U.S. fired back. But President Biden vaguely backed Schumer. Now White House spokesperson John Kirby is doing damage control.

BRIEFS

• A Boeing plane owned by United Airlines landed safely after an exterior panel wooshed off mid-flight

• After a scandal, the judge forced prosecutor Nathan Wade to resign from his job on Georgia’s criminal case against Donald Trump

• James Crumbley, the father of a Michigan school shooter, joined his wife in being convicted of involuntary manslaughter

• Former Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin is putting together an investor group to buy TikTok if Congress forces a sale

• Niger's military junta government ended the agreement that let the U.S. military operate in the West African country

• Federal prosecutors asked the judge to sentence convicted crypto fraudster Sam Bankman-Fried to 40-to-50 years in prison

• The European Union will give Egypt $8 billion in aid to help fortify its borders against a surge of migrants

• A predatory group called 764 uses Discord and other platforms to coerce children into violence

• European NATO countries face a combined $61 billion shortfall in hitting the alliance's defense spending goals

• Scientists with the Norwegian Research Council found that more than 4,000 chemicals in plastics are “toxic”

QUOTE

SNACKS

📹 Stupid: You should have seen this. Take a wistful (wasteful?) trip down the internet’s memory lane with this history of totally not stupid viral videos and links.

🔥 Smokejumpers: Here’s a wild look at the firefighting paratroopers called smokejumpers. The federal government pays these guys to prevent and fight wildfires by jumping out of airplanes.

🍀 Ireland: In a belated St. Paddy's celebration, check out this photography contest tour of Ireland.

ANSWER

This one’s shockingly recent. The only president to retire and go hang out with Mom and Dad was George W. Bush. His folks passed away in 2018, about 9 years after he left office. The median age for a president at inauguration is 55, meaning they often complete their terms at about 60.