Good morning! Today is April Fools’ Day. Best of luck out there.

After years of pressure, Harvard has relented and removed a specific controversial book from its library. Per the author, the 1879 book is “about the human soul deserved to have a human covering.” You read that right. This thing is bound in human skin. And no, this is not a prank.

POLICY

🥔 Are french fries vegetables?

Potato potato. Is it a root? Is it a fruit (no)? Is it a vegetable? The government might vote grain.

Enter: the Dietary Guidelines for Americans. These are, as the name mildly suggests, dietary guidelines for Americans. They’re put together every five years by two government departments:

1. The Department of Agriculture (USDA)

2. The Department of Health and Human Services (HHS)

It’s about that time again. And rumors are swirling in Potato World™ that the folks in charge of the guidelines are considering switching the classification of potatoes from vegetable to grain.

But the guidelines aren’t meant to be read by the public. They’re what loads of government agencies use to build programs like school lunches, meal assistance for the hungry, and food rations for military personnel. They’re also meant to inform doctors, dieticians… and politicians. And that’s where this gets sticky.

Big Potato: A bipartisan group of 14 senators wrote a letter to the two guys in charge of these departments — Sec. Tom Vilsack (USDA) and Sec. Xavier Becerra — making the case that a potato is absolutely, positively, without a doubt a vegetable.

• Want to guess which states these 14 good folks represent? That’s right. States with large industrial potato production.

• They warn the change would confuse “consumers, retailers, restaurant operators, growers, and the entire supply chain.”

• They also noted that many schools already have trouble affording vegetables for student lunches. Potatoes are often the only financially feasible option.

The USDA claims no potato change is being considered. But defenses are already up for both the potato industry and the members of Congress who represent it.

You can rest easy knowing that the large fry you’re going to hammer at lunch today is a vegetable. And, if you ask the Supreme Court, the ketchup is, too.

WHITE HOUSE

🐰 Eggs roll on the South Lawn

Over 40,000 people will walk through the White House gates today. It’s not a riot. Or a protest. Or a Texas-sized tour. It’s the White House Easter Egg Roll (and probably a nightmare of a security line)!

You’re supposed to hunt eggs, not roll them. Meh. Egg rolls are a time-honored tradition in much of Europe. And they were historically far more common in the United States, too. The White House version dates to at least 1878.

• That's when the children of Washington went way too hard in their egg rolling at the Capitol and killed all the grass. They got kicked out, so President Hayes had 'em over to his place.

Thousands of military families, as well as lucky members of the general public (who won a ticket lottery), will take part. This thing is much more than rolling eggs across a finish line. It’s a big ole' carnival with games, snacks, balloons, and more.

• A cadre of costumed characters will be on hand, including SpongeBob (and Patrick!), Wonder Woman, and the Minions.

• They’ve got pro athletes, too.

• And a selection of government-approved, politically neutral DJs.

This year, First Lady Jill Biden’s theme for the event is EGG-ucation. Which is exactly the pun you expect from a woman who's been a teacher for more than 30 years.

POLITICS

🔵 A few updates on Biden World:

• Most voters view the president’s age (81) as a big problem. The Biden campaign is trying to counter that by dragging Trump (77) down on the same point: “America deserves better than a feeble, confused, and tired Donald Trump.”

• This past month, Joe Biden has held campaign events nationwide. But he’s skipping the big rallies and speeches. Instead, he's shaking more hands and kissing more babies at smaller events. The campaign says this leans into the president’s strengths and generates more local coverage.

• Biden is targeting Nikki Haley voters. The campaign is spending $1 million running an ad titled “If You Voted For Nikki Haley…” in swing states for three weeks.

🔴 A few updates on Trump World:

• Trump will hold rallies tomorrow in Wisconsin and Michigan. These will be his first two rallies since an event in Ohio on March 16. A poll last week showed his long-stable lead in both states slipping as Biden gains.

• Veepstakes 2024 is kicking into high gear as Donald Trump ponders his VP selection. One popular choice that poses a constitutional issue: Florida Sen. Marco Rubio. He and Trump both live in Florida. An obscure bit of the Constitution says one of them would have to move. If they don’t, and the election is close, we could end up with a President Trump and a Vice President Harris.

🔵 President Biden caused an uproar on Friday when he signed a proclamation declaring yesterday “Transgender Day of Visibility.” Transgender Day of Visibility has been celebrated every March 31 since 2009. Biden has recognized it annually since taking office. But yesterday was Easter — the holiest day of the year for Christians. Many viewed his proclamation as offensive or in poor taste. That includes the pro-LGBT Log Cabin Republicans. They suggested he should have moved it up or back a day this year. Of course, many others don’t think he should’ve signed the proclamation at all. The White House called criticisms of the order “cruel” and “hateful.”

TRIVIA

Russia is the largest country in the world. Followed by Canada. North Korea is smack dab in the middle. But one nation stands out for just how tiny it is. What is the smallest country in the world?

Hint: It’s not an island.

WORLD

🇨🇳 China: Chinese President Xi Jinping met with a delegation of 18 U.S. business leaders. Foreign investment in China has fallen to its lowest level since the 90s. Xi was “seeking to persuade” and urged them to continue investing.

🇫🇷 France: The French government asked 46 countries for help with security at this year's Summer Olympics in Paris. The French Interior Ministry needs over 2,000 extra cops and military personnel.

🇵🇸 Palestine: The U.S. and the Palestinian Authority (PA) are reportedly nearing a deal to reform the PA's so-called “pay for slay” program. The Martyrs Fund lends financial support to the families of Palestinians killed or imprisoned while committing acts of violence against Israel (whom they view as an oppressor).

🇹🇷 Turkey: The party of longtime (controversial) Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan lost yesterday’s local elections. The big blows include mayoral races in Istanbul (the largest city) and Ankara (the capital).

🇻🇦 Vatican City: Pope Francis, 87, did his thing yesterday and presided over Easter Sunday Mass at the Vatican. Some 30,000 people attended. His health has been poor lately, leading him to skip a Good Friday service to "conserve his health" for Easter.

BRIEFS

• The USDA says your dairy supply is safe as dairy cows in five states test positive for bird flu for the first time

• California's fast-food minimum wage is $20 an hour starting today

• As cleanup begins in Baltimore, Gov. Wes Moore said the bridge collapse is a "national economic catastrophe"

• AT&T says the personal information of 73 million current and (mostly) former customers ”was leaked” on the dark web

• There’s a new weight-loss drug in town — and this one lets you keep your muscles

• Federal Reserve Chair Jay Powell, the man in charge of U.S. monetary policy, says inflation should keep falling toward the Fed's 2% goal

• Congress banned Microsoft’s Copilot AI on all congressional devices, citing security concerns

• Google is, as is tradition, dumping one of its products again — say goodbye to Google Podcasts tomorrow

• Google's Gmail debuted twenty years ago today: April 1, 2004

• Los Angeles County is shutting down beaches after rain washed debris and bacteria into nearby ocean waters

• A new U.K. poll shows the Conservative Party losing an insane 72% of its current seats in the House of Commons in the coming election

QUOTE

SNACKS

🍿 Movies: We are so back. Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis are in talks with Disney to reprise their roles in a sequel to 2003’s “Freaky Friday.” Nisha Ganatra is set to direct.

🎵 Music: If you bought Beyonce’s “Cowboy Carter” on vinyl, you might be missing a few tracks. This could be a huge goof, or it might be because she added a few songs late in the process — long after the vinyl had been pressed. Her reps are mum on the issue.

🤳 Socials: Need to get your social media fix without actually using social media? Palmsy has your back. Palmsy lets you post to your heart’s content. But nothing you post leaves your device. All the likes are fake, too — they’re randomly tallied using names from your contact list. It’s free for iPhone and iPad.

ANSWER

The smallest sovereign (aka: independent) nation in the world is Vatican City. The Vatican gained its independence from Italy in 1929 and is entirely surrounded by the city of Rome. It rings in at just 121 acres. That's about one-seventh the size of NYC's Central Park.

Vatican City is a bit of a geopolitical and legal mess. But the gist of it is that it’s ruled by a legally distinct entity called the Holy See, which is basically just the Catholic Church’s HQ.

To make a long story short, Vatican City is a tiny independent country ruled by an absolute monarch who happens to be the Pope.