Good morning. Have you ever used lip balm and thought “Wow, I wish this tasted like ranch dressing”? Great news! Burt’s Bees and Hidden Valley have a collab just for weirdos like you. Please just don’t put it on your pizza (it’s inedible and also that’s gross).

 CONGRESS 

💰 Congress passes a budget (sort of)

To avoid a government shutdown last fall, Congress divided the government into two pieces and passed a short-term budget with two renewal deadlines. One expires today and the other expires next month.

To avoid a government shutdown today, Congress again divided the government into two pieces and passed a short-term budget with two renewal deadlines.

• Deadline one moves from Jan. 19 to March 1.

• Deadline two moves from Feb. 2 to March 8.

President Biden says he’ll sign the bill. Despite Republicans controlling the House, it passed largely on Democratic support. Many of the House’s more conservative members opposed its overall funding totals. At least three have suggested a “motion to vacate.” That’s the exact process by which they tossed then-Speaker Kevin McCarthy last October.

Zoom out: This budget debate is unrelated to ongoing talks on a combo-nacho immigration/Ukraine bill. Congress is negotiating an overhaul of the immigration system alongside more funding for Ukraine’s war with Russia. The Senate has mostly agreed on a framework.

• Their plan includes provisions to raise the bar for seeking asylum.

• It would not provide a path to citizenship for people who crossed the border illegally.

Many in the House want a stricter bill that includes funding to resume construction on a border wall. And Speaker Mike Johnson said he needs assurance that further Ukraine funding will not turn it into “another Afghanistan.” President Biden says the Ukraine cash is a matter of national security.

Immigration, Ukraine, budgets, elections…it’s going to be a busy few months in Washington.

 MIDDLE EAST 

🌍 U.S. designates Houthis terorists

A fourth round of U.S. airstrikes hit Iran-backed Houthi rebels in Yemen this week. Amid months of Houthi attacks on passing cargo ships, the amount of freight in the Red Sea has tanked as shipping companies avoid the area. The Houthis say they’re doing whatever is necessary to back Palestine during the Israel-Hamas war.

Now, the State Department has designated the Houthis a “Specially Designated Global Terrorist” group. This:

• Denies them access to the U.S. financial system

• Allows sanctions of groups who support them

• Let’s law enforcement go after their international support systems

This designation is less severe than naming them a “foreign terrorist organization” (FTO). That’s the label given to them by the outgoing Trump administration in early 2021 that was quickly revoked by the incoming Biden administration. The FTO label is viewed as too severe by some due to concerns that could punish and prevent the flow of humanitarian aid into Houthi-controlled areas.

 POLITICS 

🔴 We’re one state into the Republican nominating process and the veepstakes has already begun. Former President Trump is reportedly looking at Upstate NY Rep. Elise Stefanik as his running mate. Probably not coincidentally, Stefanik was the first member of Congress to endorse Trump’s 2024 campaign. If you saw the viral video last month of three college presidents trying to wiggle out of questions on anti-Semitism, Stefanik was the representative asking those questions.

🔵 The censure wars continue unabated. Months after two representatives were censured (an official slap on the wrist) by the House — one for comments on Israel and one for literally pulling the fire alarm — Rep. Dan Goldman (D) is looking to continue that streak. He wants to censure the above-mentioned Rep. Stefanik (R) for calling the January 6 defendants “hostages.” In the Republican-controlled House, his resolution likely goes nowhere. Unrelated fun fact: Goldman lives up to his name. He’s a Levi’s heir.

🔴 Ouch. Rep. Nancy Mace might be getting a Republican primary challenge from the guy who, until a month ago, was her chief of staff. Mace received national attention on two occasions last year. First, when she voted to oust then-Speaker Kevin McCarthy. And earlier, while speaking at a prayer breakfast, she (super awkwardly) joked that she was almost late because of morning sex. That’s not all the drama, though. When her outgoing chief of staff returned to the office to hand in his keys, his replacement called the cops on him.

⚪ The race for U.S. Senate in Texas is heating up. Incumbent Sen. Ted Cruz (R) narrowly leads in a new poll — 42% to 40% — against likely Democratic nominee Rep. Colin Allred. Allred is a former NFL player and attorney serving his third term in Congress. He’s also winning the money race right now. Allred’s got $10 million in funds to Cruz’s $7.3 million. Their quest for cash has just begun, though: Cruz and his 2018 opponent together raised over $100 million. Cruz won that race by 2.6%.

⚪ When former Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson dropped out of the Republican presidential race this week (after getting a cool 191 votes in Iowa), the Democratic National Committee issued a statement making fun of him. Jeff Zients, President Biden’s Chief of Staff, called the governor to apologize on Biden’s behalf.

 BRIEFS 

• OpenAI is partnering with Arizona State University to use ChatGPT for tutoring, coursework, and more

• The Washington Post, D.C.’s paper of record, lost “about $100 million” last year

• 3M will pay $6 billion in damages for selling faulty earplugs to the military

• Former Facebook Meta COO Sheryl Sandberg is leaving the company’s board

• The artist formerly known as Kate Middleton, now The Princess of Wales, had abdominal surgery this week

• The failed Peregrine moon lander burned up and crashed into the Pacific yesterday

• A federal court ruled that a Spanish museum can keep a Nazi-looted painting (now worth $30 million)

• A fire at a Seattle art museum may have damaged priceless works of art dating to the 1400s

• Former First Lady Melania Trump spoke at her mother’s funeral yesterday in Florida

 TRIVIA 

Rep. Elise Stefanik is 39 years old. When she took office in 2015, aged 30, she was the youngest woman ever elected to Congress. But her record has since been broken. Who is the youngest woman ever elected to Congress?

 WORLD 

🇹🇼 Taiwan: Several members of Congress (of both parties) will visit Taiwan soon to show support for its new president. China (of course) is mad about this and says they "firmly oppose" the U.S. having any official contact with Taiwan.

🇵🇰 Pakistan: Pakistan launched airstrikes against Iran (next door). The hits were retaliation for similar strikes Iran launched earlier this week. Both countries bombed alleged militant groups. Iran’s attacks, in response to recent suicide bombings, also hit Iraq and Syria.

🇺🇸 United States: The Department of Justice issued its report on the horrific 2022 school shooting in Uvalde, TX. It is...scathing. U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland pretty much blamed local and state police for "cascading" failures and all but called them cowards.

🇺🇦 Ukraine: France 18x’ed its production of long-range weapons (howitzers) and began sending them to Ukraine. French President Macron aims to increase its military aid after sending only $587 million so far. For comparison, Germany’s given $18.6 billion. The U.S. has sent $47.7 billion.

🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia: Saudi Arabia said any hope of official relations with Israel requires a ceasefire in Gaza. The Saudis have never officially recognized the State of Israel. But they were in the process of doing so when Hamas attacked on Oct. 7.

 QUOTE 

 SNACKS 

🧙‍♂️ Disney: Selena Gomez and David Henrie are back for a sequel to “Wizards of Waverly Place.” Don’t get too excited, though. Gomez is too big for the show now and will only appear in the pilot. Henrie will be a series regular.

🐘 Elephants: Scientists think generative AI might someday help us talk to elephants.

🌊 Weird Jobs: Know a Canadian in need of a weird (but cool?) job? The Canadian Coast Guard is on the hunt for lighthouse keepers.

 ANSWER 

Stefanik’s record held for four years. In 2019, the new (and current) record holder took office at 29. At the time, Alexandria Occasio-Cortez / AOC was just 29.